Red Robot
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WILL CRUSH YOU, PUNY HUMAN.
Red Robot is a terrible metallic creation, all boxy and with yellow glowy-eyes. A creation of Sam Brown (initially) in his Exploding Dog website, and then by Rstevens as a Diesel Sweeties character (adding the Crushing Puny Hu-mans part), Red Robot is the man-oppressing forerunner and figurehead of the Anti-Human, Pro-Robot Movement. According to Kompressor, Red Robot has been said to shoot Green Laser Ray, but this has not been visually confirmed.
Red Robot's full designation is Red Robot #C-63, and while his original purpose is unclear, his current directives tend to fall under one of a short list of goals:
- World Domination
- Crush Humans
- Exist in blatantly extravagant comfort and material wealth
- Score with the ladies
- Other
Red Robot is often seen associating with other robots, sometimes with other devices, and once, for a short period, with Roger the Cat. He also had a short romance with Eve, which, resulting in his being dumped, has only strengthened his hatred of mankind. His encounters with humans are common, and typically involve insults. It is known that Red Robot has created duplicates of himself, producing a veritable army of Red Robot iterations. The locations and activities of this vast force of Human Crushing Doom are currently unknown, but a sighting in early 2004 saw several Red Robot Minions competing in a soccer game with Adolf Hitler. Hitler himself was severly injured after one particularly forceful kick of the soccer ball.
Red Robot has been seen in various locations across the Internet, making guest apperances in several web comics and the occasional piece of performance art, as part of his World Domination Tour, which will result in due time with the complete subjugation of Humankind.
Eventually, someday.
We're still waiting.
When is the Crush Bus going to finally get here? When?
